Yesterday, Jonathan and I started this Whole 30 nonsense.
We started it because we had some friends that were doing it, and of course, we ALWAYS drink the kool-aid. (If we were ever involved in a cult scenario, we’d be done for.) We have a lot of friends who are paleo climbers, (they are in great shape). Originally, we probably ate the paleo diet 60% of the time (we are in pretty good shape!) BUT I love sandwiches, and I love sweets. My crag snack is a sugar loaded protein bar, and my favorite drink is red wine. (I still love you, wine.)
We’re venturing in on this 30 days, right before our spring break climbing trip. I want to see if this diet can improve my climbing, and I would love to lose a handful of pounds. I want to feel really awesome, and I could probably love wine less.
I have found a few LIES that these paleo people want you to buy into.
1. CAULIFLOWER DOES NOT TASTE LIKE POTATOES.
NO. It doesn’t. It’s not a good substitute. It doesn’t taste like RICE either. It’s just white. Same color does not equal same flavor. This is bad.
2. 2 EGGS AND A BANANA MIXED TOGETHER DOES NOT TASTE LIKE PANCAKES.
It tastes like you got drunk, and you were like, “oh this is cool, bananas and eggs! lol!” But really, it just tastes like fried eggs- with lumps.
3. LETTUCE IS NOT A BUN, OR A TACO SHELL.
gah, I’d rather die. Put that away.
4. There is such a thing as too much meat.
I’ve committed to this for two days, and I feel like I’ve had enough animal fat to have my own TLC special.
5. Spaghetti Squash doesn’t taste like spaghetti.
Have you ever had squash? It’s sweet. Tastes like squash. Spaghetti squash is no different. It doesn’t taste like empty delicious carbohydrates. It tastes like sweet squash. Again, looks and taste- NOT THE SAME. Try putting marinara on that, it tastes like sadness.
Here we go on day 2. Admittedly, yesterday, I had some chocolate chips. (shhh). I also told myself I wasn’t going to do this diet anymore around midnight last night. Maybe I’ll be better today. :)
Have any tips for me? Shoot me a message!